Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Strange Laws in Texas and Colorado by Bea Tifton

Whew! I got busy with some other projects and just let the due date for my blog this month just whiz right by me. It's a good thing forgetting a deadline isn't against the law, isn't it. Or is it?
Every state has its share of strange old laws. Those laws that were made when life was different or to address a specific person or event. Laws that, once passed, stay on the books until they're completely forgotten and overlooked.
I decided to choose two states, my native Texas, which is known for being, um, independent and colorful, and Colorado, a beautiful state to which I thought of relocating years ago.
So, here's a list of some of the stranger old laws.

Weird Texas Laws:
-You need to watch yourself in San Antonio. It's illegal to "flirt with the eyes or hands." (Boy, the revenue from ticketing people on the River Walk alone would keep the state afloat.)
-You may not shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. (I cannot shoot anything from anywhere, but good to know.)
-You may not dust  any public building with a feather duster if you're ever in Clarendon. (Have you seen my house? Catching me with a feather duster is not going to be a problem. Ahem.)
-You may not own the complete set of The Encyclopedia Brittanica because one of the volumes contains a recipe for brewing beer at home. (Thank goodness for Google, right?)
-You may not milk someone else's cow. (Durn. I'll guess I'll have to make a store run.)
-You may not ride a horse or buggy through the town square in Temple. (You may ride your horse into a saloon, though, so that's all right.) 
-You  may not emit "obnoxious odors" while riding in an elevator in Port Arthur. (And I'm just going to leave that one well enough alone.
Weird Colorado Laws
-You can't kiss a sleeping woman in Logan County. (So if that's the way you or your partner wake each other up, you might want to make sure you take your alarm clock if you visit.)
-You may not own chickens in Louisville, but you may own up to three turkeys. (No fresh eggs for you but Thanksgiving's gonna be great.)
-You may not graze your llama on public land in Boulder. (Fine. I'll just leave my llama at home, then.)
-You may not roll a boulder on city property in Boulder. (Is this a thing? You get one or two smart alecks and they ruin it for everyone.)
-You may not use catapults, blowguns, or slingshots in Aspen. (What in the world was going on in Aspen?)
-You may not bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building in Cripple Creek. ( I wonder if that's why all the old saloons were on the first floor. Hmm.)

 With all the paperwork throughout the years, it's inevitable that some of the more obscure laws would be forgotten as they remain on the books. To us, they seem absurd, but at the time, the lawmakers presumably had a good reason for making them. Have you accidentally broken any of these? Leave a comment below.





Wednesday, October 26, 2016

FUN NAMES ABOUND IN TEXAS



Every state has towns and regions with odd names. Since I live in Texas, I’m most aware of my state’s names. There are towns like Dime Box and the former Lick Skillet.

Not only was Lick Skillet a community, but there were FIVE places with that name before postal organization arrived to eliminate duplication. Supposedly, one such town received that name because if you were late to community events, all the food was gone and you would have to lick the skillet if you were hungry.  


Imagine you are a sports announcer and the game is between the Quitaque Quail and the Mesquite Skeeters. Quitaque is a tongue twister for many people. To save newcomers a problem, the town sign gives the pronunciation as Kitty-quay. By the way, the town is best known for its bison ranch.



I love the tale about the Pedernales River. Early surveyors and mapmakers spelled the name wrong by inserting the R in the wrong place. Did that change citizens’ pronunciation? Not a bit. The river is pronounced Perdinales.

The Pedernales River
In North Central Texas are the towns of Rio Vista and Nevada. Rio Vista is not pronounced ree-o as is correct for Spanish. Locals say Rye-o Vista. The state is Nevada but the Texas town is Ne-vay-da. We Texans just do our own thing.


What are some odd town names in your state? 


Caroline Clemmons is an award winning and Amazon bestselling author whose latest release is RACHEL, Bride Brigade book 5.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

COWBOY WISDOM


Saturday was the Facebook party for the National Cowboy Day. Great bits of cowboy wisdom were shared and it reminded me of a collection I have by Texas Bix Bender titled DON’T SQUAT WITH YER SPURS ON! A Cowboy’s Guide to Life http://amzn.com/B00V5ML7F4

Here are some of the pearls from that book:

Don’t never interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none.

Talk low, talk slow, and don’t say too much.

Don’t worry about bitin’ off more ‘n you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger than you think.

Makin’ it in life is kinda like bustin’ broncs: you’re gonna get thrown a lot. The simple secret is to keep getting’ back on.

You can just about always stand more ‘n you think you can.

There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works.


A woman’s heart is like a campfire. If you don’t tend to it regular, you’ll soon lose it.

Control your generosity when you’re dealin’ with a chronic borrower.

Too much debt doubles the weight on your horse and puts another in control of the reins.


Don’t let so much reality into your life that there’s no room left for dreamin’.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Nobody ever drowned himself in his own sweat.

Honesty is not something you should flirt with—you should be married to it.


Cowboys are always a welcome subject, aren’t they? In fact, I love reading anything about the West, which is why I write and read western romances. My latest release is the historical romance, McCLINTOCK’S RELUCTANT BRIDE, book three of the McClintock series. Didn't Skhye Moncrief do a fabulous job designing the cover?



Here’s the blurb:

Nettie Clayton’s well-planned life is stolen in a few moments. All she wants is a better life for her family in McClintock Falls, Texas where her father can recover from years spent coal mining. Her teacher’s salary is slated toward saving for her younger brother to attend medical school. Her dreams are dashed when Josh McClintock mistakes her window for that of her neighbor. She wants to resist her parents’ decree, but there’s no way to win.

Josh McClintock’s free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt end after his birthday celebration. He works hard by day on the family ranch; he plays just as hard on weekends. He loves being single to play the field of willing females and has no plan to marry for five or six years. One drunken mistake alters his life and Nettie’s forever.

While Nettie and Josh struggle to deal with an unwanted marriage, a crazed villain planning his revenge against the McClintock family targets Josh and Nettie.  What happens when the villain attacks?

Here are buy links:
Amazon in Deutschland  http://www.amazon.de/dp/B011LGDP8U


And why not sign up for my newsletter to stay informed of new releases, contests, and events? Here’s the link: http://carolineclemmons.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=0a24664c906875718d975ad7b&id=7c2e488a51