Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Talkin' the Talk

I don’t normally appreciate the vast collection of books and magazines my husband stores in the powder room (commonly referred to in our house as “the library”). But every once in a while I stumble across something of note while decluttering the stacks.

Here’s a gem I discovered recently. I have books on Old West slang and have several websites bookmarked devoted to the topic, but finding these in an old Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader was a surprise; many of these were new to me. Hope you find a smile or two among them, I know I did!

He's crooked enough to sleep on a corkscrew (dishonest)

Raised on prunes and proverbs (a religious person)

Coffee varnish (whiskey)

Fat as a well-fed needle (poor)

Deceitful beans (meaning they'll talk behind your back,or give you gas)

Got a pill in his stomach that he can't digest (shot dead)

Like a turkey gobbler in a hen pen (proud)

Like a breedin' jackass in a tin barn (noisy)

Fryin' size but plumb salty (an old person)

Quicker'n you can spit and holler howdy (fast)

Studyin' to be a half wit (stupid)

Built like a snake on stilts (tall)

Right on melody but strong on noise (a bad singer)

Weasel smart (crafty)

Scarce as bird dung in a cuckoo clock (hard to find)

Dry as the dust in a mummy's pocket (very dry)

In the lead when tongues was handed out (talks too much)

If he closed one eye, he'd look like a needle (very skinny)

Lives in a house so small he can't cuss his cat without gettin' fur in his mouth (a tightwad)

Died of throat trouble (hung)

Happy Trails!



  1. I love these. Gonna have to copy them and use a couple. Thank you!!!

  2. LOL- leave it to you to find these good ones!

  3. Fun quotes, Nic. Thanks for bringing us a smile.

  4. Love 'em. My grandma had 10 kids, and she expected every single one to do chores. That work ethic was passed on to her grandkids, too. More than once she said to us in an exasperated voice, "You're slow as molasses on a January morning!"

  5. Thanks Vickie, I know what you mean, LOL, I can't wait to use some of them myself.

    Paty, LOL. Never discount the info that can be gleaned from a bathroom book.

    Caroline--thanks. They made me smile, too.

    Joyce, I love that one!

    Thanks everyone for stopping by!

  6. Celia,

    I shared these at work and we we'er laughing. Thanks for sharing these. :)

  7. These are so funny, thanks so much for sharing. By the way, I hope you don't mind if I use a few in my own writing.


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