I have heard authors of other genres make jokes about mail-order
bride books. They may seem fanciful, but throughout history there really were a large number of
women who risked everything to achieve a husband and family. The alternative
for a woman sounds lonely.
Unlike the single woman of today, there were not many choices. A
woman was judged by the success of her husband and children. If she had
neither, she simply did not fit into society of the time. The jobs available to
a woman who was above servant class were that of a governess or a companion
(read fancy term for maid) to a woman who was likely wealthy but infirm in some
way.
If she was willing to risk becoming a mail-order bride, she might
still be no more than a servant, but it would be in her own home and she would
have her own children. Worth the risk? I would think so.
Chris Enss’ book Hearts West discusses actual mail-order
brides. Some are happy stories, some are frightening. Each is interesting. There
are other books about western women, some of whom were mail-order brides. Another is Buying A Bride, by Macia A. Zug, who details brides through history. Of course, I'm more interested in those of the American West.
A terrible result of the Civil War was that fighting took the
lives of so many young men. Numbers given are that between 620,000 and 750,000
men died in the Civil War, by far the greatest toll of any war in American
history. When most of the surviving single men moved west, this left no one for
Eastern women to marry. If a woman wanted a husband and children, what was she
to do? If a man wanted a wife and family, what was he to do?
This is why there
are so many mail-order bride and proxy bride romances. Although mail-order and
proxy brides existed before and after this era, they flourished in the last
quarter of the nineteenth century. In fact, proxy marriages are still valid
today. Now they are mainly used for those in military service.
In my ancestry
and that of my husband, several women became little more than a live-in, unpaid
maid. Would you have wanted to spend the rest of your life as “Aunt” whoever to
someone else’s family? Or, would you have dared become a mail-order bride?
In the west the
ratio was sometimes 1 woman (who might be married) to 14 men. In mining areas,
the ratio of men per woman would be far more. If you wanted a wife and
children, what would you do? Imagine being a single man who longs for a wife
and family and sends for a bride. What if she’s a shrew or slovenly and can’t
cook or keep house? What if she’s a con artist who plans to remain only long
enough to gain access to your savings? Would you send for a bride sight-unseen?
Matrimonial
agencies supposedly verified the character and intentions of the man and woman
before the marriage was arranged. Also available were newspaper-like
periodicals filled with ads placed by men who wanted a wife (no verification).
If you’ve read some of these, you know they varied from so egotistical they’re
comical to so brief no information is supplied.
Imagine yourself a
woman traveling by train or—more likely—by stagecoach to meet a prospective
groom. You could be single or widowed. More than likely you’d be nearly
destitute. If the man you’re going to meet doesn’t suit, you have no funds to repay
him for your travel fare and return home. Perhaps you have no home to which you
can return. What if he’s a drunk or beats women or is a crook?
Would you have
dared enter a mail-order marriage?
In my recent
release, MAIL-ORDER VICTORIA, Widows, Brides, and Secret Babies Series book 7, the heroine becomes a mail-order bride to protect
her daughter. The groom desperately needs a wife to care for his children.
Neither has been forthcoming about their children, which accounts for the “secret”
baby in the series. I hope readers will read and enjoy this book. I enjoyed
writing it. I threw in rustlers and a tornado to create more obstacles. Here’s
the summary:
She has to protect
her baby . . .
He is desperate
for help . . .
Trouble preys on
their livelihood . . .
Widow Victoria Bailey is desperate to prevent her in-laws from gaining
custody of her eighteen-month-old daughter. If becoming a mail-order bride is
her only option, she’ll take the risk. At least on a Texas ranch she’ll have
quiet and peace. She doesn’t have time to let the groom know she’s bringing her
daughter. Surely no man can object to one perfect little girl.
Widower Greg Hardy is desperate to get help with his home and his children.
He needs to be pursuing whoever is rustling his cattle. A mail-order bride
seems to be exactly what he needs but should he keep his children a secret? To
insure he doesn’t scare off a prospective wife, he omits the fact that he has five children aged from eight months to
twelve years old.
Their marriage
starts with misunderstanding. They decide to work together to fight against a
common foe. Will the fight take a toll on their fragile happiness?
The Universal Amazon Link is https://mybook.to/Victoria
for ebook, print, and KU.
Sounds great, Caroline.
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