By Paisley Kirkpatrick
The best seat inside a stage is the one next to the driver. Even if you have a tendency to sea-sickness when riding backwards - you'll get over it and will get less jolts and jostling. Don't let "Sly elph" trade you his mid-seat.
In cold weather don't ride with tight-fitting boots, shoes, or gloves. When the driver asks you to get off and walk do so without grumbling, he won't request it unless absolutely necessary. If the team runs away - sit still and take your chances. If you jump, nine out of ten times you will get hurt.
In very cold weather abstain entirely from liquor when on the road, because you will freeze twice as quickly when under it's influence.
Don't growl at the food received at the station - stage companies generally provide the best they can get.
Don't keep the stage waiting. Don't smoke a strong pipe inside the coach. Spit on the leeward side. If you have anything to drink in a bottle pass it around. Procure you're stimulants before starting as "ranch" (stage depot) whiskey is not "nectar."
Don't lean or lop over neighbors when sleeping. Take small change to pay expenses. Never shoot on the road as the noise might frighten the horses. Don't discuss politics or religion.
Don't point out where murders have been committed especially if there are women passengers.
Don't lag at the wash basin. Don't grease your hair, because travel is dusty. Don't imagine for a moment that you are going on a picnic. Expect annoyances, discomfort, and some hardships.
As posted in the Omaha Herald 1877
The next time you travel imagine traveling on a stagecoach and maybe all the rules and regulations at the airport, train station, or crazed drivers on the road won't seem so bad -- unless of course you get to sit next to a hunky cowboy!! Just be careful he's not there to rob the stagecoach passengers.